By: Darren Schmidt

Since Latrell Sprewell wore the Warrior blue and yellow in the 1997 all-star game every team in the NBA except the Warriors has had at least one player in the game. Yes, even the Clippers and Bobcats. But don’t let that stop you from checking out what everyone else is talking about. Here are a few easy tips to enjoy the game:

First, if you notice the play-by-play guy spending half of his time talking about the referees or saying that a bench player is just hot today or saying guards should never throw one-handed passes, the SAP button on your TV is turned to “Fitz.” You are going to want to turn it to “Breen” immediately.

When the game starts do not be disoriented by the presence of players who appear to be not only tall but skilled. These are called “big men.” Their job is to catch the ball near the basket in what is called “the key” or “the paint” and score.

The rest of the game should look more familiar to you, though, so don‘t worry. You will not see any of this “defense” thing you keep hearing fans of other teams talking about but you will see some spectacular individual offense. You will see a lot of missed jump shots. You will see one team score a lot of points and lose.

I should warn you that at some point you are going to have to enter what is called The Kobe Bryant Experience. In this grim place you will see Kobe Bryant “joke” around with his teammates because they all really like each other. You will hear him called the best “closer” in the game and “still” the best player in the world, both of which you know to be undeniably untrue. You might even see a shot of his adoring wife and kids in the stands. Do not let any of this upset you. If it’s inevitable, you might as well try to enjoy it, right?

Above all else, as a Warrior fan you must know your place. The all-star game is meant as a celebration of the NBA. It’s meant as a party. You are not invited to the party, of course, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy hearing all the stories the next day.

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