By: Sherwood Strauss

The Warriors-Raptors game was more an indictment of Jay Triano than a celebration of Nellie’s coaching career. I hate to be the bad guy, but…

Who cares? So Don Nelson coached a long time and tied the most wins record. So what? He never won anything—it’s looking like he never will. Nellie says he lacked the talent, but I can’t erase the recollection of Nash and Nowitzki on the same team. Am I thankful for the “We Believe” run? More than thankful, and Nellie added a flair to the experience. What Nelson accomplished went beyond merely engineering an underdog victory. He popped beers in press conferences, he predicted losses, he acted wholly divorced from the concept of being an archetypal coach. I loved it, and I’ll choose to remember that Don Nelson should he leave soon. Should he…leave soon.

Because I can’t really support the coach of this particular Warriors team. The longer he stays, the shorter my memory gets. Sunny images of an ecstatic Nellie slapping Baron Davis on the butt give way to dark-lit visions of Vlad Rad playing center under the listless stare of a coach who should know better.

So when Nellie’s players gather round and rain joy on the ol’ ball coach, my dark heart can’t manage to grow three sizes, let alone flutter. This was an awful year, and it wasn’t just injuries.

But he closed out this one, I guess. An engaged Nellie did tell the refs, “We are going to foul,” before the Raptors in-bounded. The whistle blew before Bosh’s neurons even could relay the “I’m holding a basketball” message to his brain.

Then Bosh accidentally made the second free throw. Then he magically had the opportunity to end the game on a layup. Then I wondered how Bosh changed basketball history by missing the bunny (the “win” could shift our lotto odds). Speaking of bunnies, the Raptor mascot dressed-up with rabbit ears and a fluffy tail. The Rab-tor mutant looked like something the chupacabra would have nightmares about. I’m still disturbed.

Observations

• You know how some players are great when the “chips are down”? Maggette’s fantastic when there are no chips. I must say, he was professional (as always) in the post-game interview, which is hard for fans to reconcile. We expect ballhogs to be jerks, and CM seems anything but. Maggette was generous with praise for Curry and Nelson to the point of being self-effacing.

• I’m one of many viewers impressed by Toronto’s lack of defense. I mostly blame Triano, because some of these awful rotations can’t be chalked up to a lack of skill. Anthony Morrow caught a pass (he’s open), took a jab step (still open), paused (umm, still open), and launched a three (open like next year’s Toronto coaching job). While it’s true the Raptors have a center named “Andrea,” coaching has to be a huge factor in producing D this historically invisible.

• Jarrett Jack showed why he’s never made it as a starting PG, even while contributing an above average performance. When Jack got the whistle on a Curry foul, he foolishly passed the ball instead of launching a three. I’m 90% confident Stephen Curry would have hoisted a shot, were roles reversed.

• Bosh and Maggette hate guarding each other. Or at least they deign try.

• The “Thunder Valley Casino” sound effect makes me think a Dolphin is getting tortured in the background. What kind of noise is that?

Non-GSW Thoughts

• Since I’m already main-lining haterade, let me ask this: Why no negative coverage of the Kobe Bryant extension? Holy hell, near-90 million dollars for three years? For a player who isn’t top five and on the wrong side of his prime? Take away the Kobe mystique and that’s what the Lakers are getting. I’m aware that LA-influenced media group-think dictates I must pretend Kobe’s the bestest thing since Jordan. Also, anyone who asks these deviant questions gets labeled a “Kobe hater,” by Laker fans who would rather support a player than a team. But were I to say, “Shooting Guard X will be 32 next year, he put up a 22 PER, he’s OK at defense, and he doesn’t play any better in the playoffs,” would you want to pay that guy 32.5 million three years from now? I’m with Dave Berri on Kobe: He’s an inferior Clyde Drexler, if Clyde Jr. had better teammates. The Lakers are eating some bad contracts.

• As long I’m stealing Dave Berri’s controversial opinions, I support his assertion that Dennis Johnson is a questionable Hall of Fame choice. The elephant in the room is DJ’s untimely death, which I do believe influenced the choice. We’ve come to accept that death can help nab one an Oscar. The Hall is likely subject to the same whims that any popularity contest is.

• This isn’t exactly a non-GSW thought, but props to Jeff Van Gundy for driving the “Chris Mullin for Hall of Fame” bandwagon in today’s Lakers-Spurs game. Yet another reason to love basketball’s answer to Larry David.

Youtube’n It

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