Warriors New Head Coach Keith Smart

I’m burning dark oil, hunched over a copy of 2010 Basketball Prospectus. It’s a bunch of stupid crap, written by geeks who don’t know real stuff about basketball, so they just stare at a computer all day like losers, maybe they should WATCH THE GAMES. Just kidding, it’s fantastic and worthy of obsession. And the people who love me are but annoying impediments to my reading this thing, may they find other sons, boyfriends, and hobbies.

The Warriors project quite well in the psychic Almanac. SCHOENE–which is either an NBA performance projector or Yiddish genitalia descriptor–gives 49 wins. That’s good for fourth best in the West, and it’s enough to give you a SCHOENER. Better than the Lakers, better than the Thunder, I’d go on but you just spat coffee, then incredulously smirked, then dismissed everything that follows this sentence. Look, the BP guys aren’t totally sold on this. Prospectus co-author Kevin Pelton writes:

“The Warriors might be a year away from making the the kind of noise SCHOENE predicts but all changes mean Golden State’s future looks as bright as it has in the last 15 years.”

Why would the Warriors be one year away? For the same reason it takes awhile to recover from injury. The organization is learning how to be one, after nearly 20 years of playing dress up. But what I take from the stats is simplistic: It’s on Keith Smart.

The Warriors have playoff talent, contrary to public perception. I don’t believe this because a computer implored me, I’ve seen it and the computer nodded in agreement. Then we made out.

David Lee is a great rebounder and efficient scorer. Andris Biedrins, when healthy, can board and block. Stephen Curry is fantastic, Monta Ellis has the talent, and Dorrell Wright is underrated. This cast should win over 40 games, and if it doesn’t? I’ll be looking at the Nellie coaching tree with an expression more withered than that shrub’s roots.

WARNING: The above piece only pertains to seasons wherein the Warriors do not miss over 500 games to injury. In the event of this occurrence, direct your Golden State medical staff questions to 1-800-A-N-D-R-I-S-B.


2 Responses

  1. bgalella

    Last season was destroyed by injuries, if Golden State can stay healthy, the addition of Lee makes them a dangerous team. The Warriors do have playoff talent, just need to see how well Lee, Monta Ellis and Stephen Curry can mesh together.

  2. Andrew

    Thank you! The dubs do have playoff talent and all they need to do is play some decent defense. Not amazing, just decent.