With mock draft after mock draft being published on the internet, the forum members of WarriorsWorld decided to hold a mock draft of their own but with a twist and call it, the “Mockery Draft”. Let’s take a look at who made the biggest mockery of their pick
1. Forum Member Flex Kavana repping the Washington Wizards, selects Jeremy Lin
“We wanted to make an impact with this pick. And Jeremy was our guy. He’ll instantly be a fan favorite and is amazingly versatile, having agreed to help with crunching numbers and helping me out with salary cap rules. I’m horrible at math. Plus, without the uniform, he’ll get easily mistaken for the towel kid… and when people least expect it: BOOM…6th Man! More importantly, Gil Arenas currently has a Glock 9mm pointed at the back of my head — and said he’d pull the f’n trigger if we went with Wall. And I’m unsure whether he’s joking or not.”
2. Forum Member Mistatwoman repping the Philadelphia 76ers, selects Al-Farouq Aminu
“We’re excited about Al Zarquiri and think he’ll bring good energy and excellent protection from terrorizing front courts. We feel his speed and his cleverness, as well as his high basketball IQ will allow him not to get eaten by Elton Brand. ”
3. Forum Member GSWFan4Ever repping the New Jersey Nets, selects Dexter Pittman
“With Lebron James coming to town, we need someone who resembles a young Shaq playing with the guy. I know we already have the Good Lopez but he isn’t really dark enough to be our center of the future. We considered DeMarcus Cousins but decided to not draft him because he didn’t look at me straight in the eye sincerely when he shook my hands, which proves his attitude problems are real. Back to the Pittman (or Pitbull if you will), you can’t teach size, he’s the fastest 310lbs player I’ve ever seen. He’s a physical specimen with 7’6″ wingspan and has the biggest hands of all prospects at 10.5 inches. At least that’s what Draftexpress says and I base all my expert analysis on that site. Think Mrs James gonna like those hands? oh wait never mind… Pittman is gonna be a HUGE pick for this franchise”
4. Minnesota Timberwolve select Jon Scheyer
“”We think Jon can come in and play right away at a superstar NBA PG level. He fills the biggest need on our team which is, point Guard. Jon will fit in well in our community as he’ll blend in with its surroundings. CP3, Rondo, Williams, all have nothing on Jon, the sky is the limit…In the words of our biggest homer, Dick Vitale, “its awesomeeee babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”
5. Forum Member Hallama repping the Sacramento Kings, selects John Wall
“*sigh* consolation prize after Scheyer was off the board. We’ll probably tuck him away in Greece for a few seasons. He’s just too quick for the NBA right now. One shoulder fake from a slow white player will send him into the 3rd row. We need to slow down his game. We’re hoping the Greek Shaq will eat his Achilles for breakfast.”
6. Forum Member Brandone repping the Golden State Warriors, selects Omar Samhan
Omar Samhan. Cause he swears he went to SMC for a reason. Claims he bleeds Warrior red–er–gold. And I believe in miracles.
7. Forum Member Christopher repping the LA Clippers, selects Jerome Randle
“I needed a bigman, Randle was the obvious choice. I would like to thank my VP of basketball operations PNQ for assisting me with this pick.
8. With the 8th pick the Los Angeles Clippers select Camelot
“Because baron was tired of being called “the fat one” in team photos”
9. Forum Member MR.FJG_SON repping the Utah Jazz selects Cole Aldrich
“In a heated debate in the war room, the Jazz have committed to drafting Cole Aldrich. A 6-10 center out of Kansas, Cole Aldrich will provide the stability and leadership needed to sure up the front court of the jazz with the departure of Carlos Boozer. The Jazz were also in talks to draft Bill Paxton aka Bill Henrickson from Big Love at the 9 spot but with his busy schedule, lack of focus, and plethora of wives we had to pass and were not willing to take the risk. According to nbadraft.net, he came in with a score of 8 on intangibles and that is just the type of score we were looking for in order to prepare him for a life of poligamy and state run liqour stores. Cole Alrdich keep your strong arm steady and welcome to Utah.”
10. Forum Member Ajbry repping the Indiana Pacers, selects Luke Babbitt
“Here at Pacers headquarters, we value one thing above all else – a lack of skin pigmentation. Luke Babbitt (hell, his name even sounds white) fits that mold perfectly. We feel our fanbase will be thrilled with this selection. Even if he fails to meet expectations on the court, we can constantly refer to his high character and basketball IQ. Our fans eat that shit up like it’s corned beef (or any other white meal of preference). Babbitt has told several interviewers that he patterns his game after Paul Pierce and Stephen Jackson. While we could certainly use a legitimate talent, we are encouraging him to avoid knife- and gun-play. He’ll be studying how to become the heir to our reigning Queen, Mike Dunleavy. We’re not looking for winners, we’re aiming for a homogeneous group of passive, pale, and pathetic players.”