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Ethan Sherwood Strauss

Number of Entries : 182

Tweedia Daze

I have registered for Tweedia Day, whatever that is. Couldn’t resist the novelty of a twitter application. Now I’m staring at Tweedia Day, trying to make sense of it. It’s like a flying raccoon just sailed into my living room. (Do I kill it? Do I pet it? Should I be angry at it? Is it cool?) Not sure what to think of this, conventional thought should hold that: This is more Cohan era distraction pander jibb ...

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Louis Amundson: +

This was a coup for the gang that couldn’t shoot straight. I feared the Lee sign n’ fleece would remove any chance of nabbing Lou by the greasy ponytail. Credit to the sticky-fingered front office, and thanks to a league that hates non-shooters. Positives: Offensive rebounding, shot-blocking Negatives: Shooting, FT%, defensive rebounding, hair manipulation PER: 14.44 Wins Produced: 4.62 Roster Antonym: Vlad ...

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America wins, basketball loses

Hatering: USA beats Turkey 81-64 Don’t get me wrong, I love my country...is what we’re all conditioned to say. Claiming to hate your country is like claiming to hate Kevin Durant--a deviant thought, best to be kept secret until that transcendent moment when President Durant bans weekends by fiat. As a self-interested, yet self-pitying American, I want the best for America. But what’s best for America is so ...

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Wise to Move On from Don

I’m going to miss a mostly Curryless Russia-USA game due to a marauding wisdom tooth. It’s rearing its ugly cap en route to punching my face in slow motion. Impressively, the tooth has survived in secrecy longer than Stephen Curry has existed. It will be ripped from my jaw, coated in dripping dark blood. Perhaps the tooth will be laced with that rancid sulphuric plaque stench-my deviant brain can only imagi ...

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What to make of Curry’s Worlds performance?

Nothing. Really, I don’t care. My point is there is no point--this is sports evaluation nihilism, stop reading you idiot. Glad Steph made the team, enthusiastic about him existing in the presence of basketball greats like Tyson Chandler, thrilled about all the legal offensive goaltending, but...there just isn’t much to be learned about NBA basketball here. I do love these moments, though: ...

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Non-GSW question: Rodmans vs. Kobes

Because it’s September and because the Dubs are daring me to conjure something about Rodney Carney, I asked economist/statman/hoophead Dave Berri this old musky question: “Who would win, five prime Dennis Rodmans vs. five prime Kobe Bryants?” I assumed he’d choose Rodman, because the Worm bests the Mamba in Berri’s Wins Produced metric. His answer surprised me: ...

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Trades: Carmelo Anthony doesn’t matter

Shots are finite. Glory is infinite! Yes, Adrian Wojnarowski has mentioned the Warriors as a potential suitor to Melo, and no, it probably won’t happen. But why would anyone want it to? Arbiters of sports opinion have treated the Nuggets as though they are Anthony’s extension--the vehicle for his fame and legend.This whole sports industry is built on vicarious living, after all. In the moment you watch a ga ...

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Lacob, Stern & the Mysterious 400 Million

A billion pardons as I try and make Pirates-Warriors-NBA owners-David Stern-TV into slurpable soup. Leaked financial documents show the anemic Pittsburgh Pirates to be simultaneously be rolling in cash and BS. Usually, I would read this type of story, shake my head at Major League Baseball, and gchat my existence down to a nub. And usually, there’s more than baseball on TV. So, extra time led me to catch th ...

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