By: Ben Cruz

The day Warrior fans are all too familiar with finally came yesterday – the NBA Draft Lottery. While some fans are excited this time of year for having their team in a deep playoff run, fans of the soon-to-be-San-Francisco-bound Warriors are left hoping that the right ping pong ball combination comes up and that the fortunes of this team will do a 180 by landing the first overall pick.

This year’s draft lottery held a little more significance than usual as Golden State stood to lose their pick had it fallen out of the top seven. After going in full tank mode toward the end of this past season (despite Joe Lacob insisting they weren’t) and winning a coin flip to earn the seventh most combinations, they were forced to hold their breath and hope that they would be able to hold on to that coveted draft pick next month.

I decided to document the happenings while viewing the lottery given the fact that this evening had the potential to be historical or tragic. You gotta love that drama!

4:45pm – Just sat down to watch this NBA Draft Lottery. Scarfed down two Beefy Nacho Burritos from Taco Bell. I may fall asleep by the end of this diary.

4:53 – Chris Broussard must feel strange being the only guy on the ESPN NBA pre-game show with hair. I know I feel strange watching it.

4:55pm – Um, the entire Cavaliers contingency are wearing matching shirts and bow ties, Kyrie Irving included. He needs to stick to being a fake old man and schooling innocent bystanders in the name of Pepsi Max.

5:01pm – Harrison Barnes is being interviewed by Heather Cox. He’s already mastered the art of “the boring NBA player interview.”

5:09pm – A Warriors commercial has just come on with Mark Jackson telling the viewers that we “are Warriors.” They are also hoping they’ll be able to call Anthony Davis a Warriors (shout out to Monta Ellis).

5:12pm – Warriors one of the only teams with two representatives (Bob Myers and Peter Guber). Not sure, but I think Guber just mouthed “S-E-X” to the camera.

5:15pm – Rich Cho just included Byron Mullens as one of the key players for the Bobcats’ future. Everyone please pray for them.

5:17pm – Warriors keep the 7th pick, not moving up. Myers has this weird look on his face as if he wasn’t paying attention. Meanwhile, Guber just put on his Dodgers fitted and hopped on a flight to LA.

5:18pm – New Orleans, Washington and Charlotte are the top three, bumping the Cavaliers out of the third spot. New Orleans moves up from the fourth spot. Irving is not pleased he was forced to wear that bow tie for the fourth pick.

5:20pm – How many more times are they going to show video of LeBron reading the Hunger Games series? The author better be paying him for that.

5:21pm – Hornets win the number one pick. Gentlemen, start your conspiracy theories!

5:23pm – Michael Jordan just lit a few hundred dollar bills on fire in anger. He then remembered he owns the Bobcats, quickly put them out and demanded Nike release more Jordan 11’s.

5:24pm – Future number one overall pick, Anthony Davis, is now being interviewed. Davis looks lukewarm about going to New Orleans. The Unibrow, on the other hand, is thrilled. It is a big fan of beignets.

5:25pm – Marco Belinelli is listed as a “Key Reserve” for the Hornets. Yeah, no wonder they were bad.

The Warriors have had the number seven pick twice since the lottery system was implemented. Those two picks ended up being Chris Mullin (1985) and Stephen Curry (2009).

Lucky number seven has been good to the Warriors thus far and it is now up to new GM Bob Myers and his staff to make sure that their string of good picks at that slot continues.

I’ll be honest – I fully expected the Warriors to lose their pick this year. Given their tortured history, can you blame me? Whether they decide to use or trade the pick, perhaps the simple act of keeping that pick is the first of many good omens for the team as they attempt to move forward and leave the stench of their losing ways behind.

3 Responses

  1. allen mark

    glad to know i wasn’t the only that caught the Byron Mullens shoutout.

  2. Phil_

    What, no mention of Dan Gilbert’s son aka Harry Potter?

    • Ben

      I tried to avoid saying anything about him given his genetic nerve disorder.