Six ranked for the sixth spot, let’s do this…

1. DeMarcus Cousins
This is my favorite scenario for so many reasons, on so many levels. And in so many words, here’s why I love it: When a new player gets drafted we fans instantly conjure the best possible outcome. Well, the Cousins ceiling rests atop a cloud, even if he currently need an exorcist. This pick also appeals to a darker side of the Warriors fan: Part of our subconscious is geared to derive amusement from team disasters. If we lack a decent squad, at least give us a gripping soap opera.

Would I hate to see a Nellie-Cousins nuclear fusion bomb? Yes, and I would also love to see it. It’s analogous to the ironic pleasure that comes from watching “Springtime for Hitler.” I disagree with the pundits who assume that–thanks to an atmosphere more polluted than the Bay itself–Cousins would fail here. If ownership changes hands, DeMarcus could evolve. If…

2. Greg Monroe
He’s blessed with some of Chris Webber’s skills and already saddled with Webber’s reputation for knock-kneed girly man-ness.  I don’t buy into subjective “soft!” tags, so I’m on board with grabbing the young center. The Warriors certainly need passing and they always lack big men. It upsets me that Monroe would cut into Randolph’s playing time, but so be it. Also, there’s this:

3. Wesley Johnson
I’ve done a 180 on Wes. Before, I was hypnotized by the rebounding and shooting. Today I’m wary of his age (22), and propensity to play for an overvalued Big East team.  He could help the Warriors on defense and rebounding if the Dubs, you know, chose to care about those frivolous hobbies. Johnson is likely a steal at No. 6, but the Warriors are replete with non-passing, high-scoring wings. And yes, I’m aware that the Big East criticism could apply to Greg Monroe. It’s important to note that both players (Greg Monroe and Wesley Johnson) have fine British butler names. That’s something I’m actually sure of.

4. Al-Farouq Aminu
Sheed likes an Aminu-Randolph-Biderins frontline. Count me among the fans of this hypothetical length orgy (Ed. Note: Ew on “length orgy”). The upside is obvious: Aminu can be a defense asset and he can catch Curry’s alley oops, even if they drift toward the rafters.

The downside is Nellie. Would he play another non-shooter? Isn’t it sad that we factor a lame-turducken coach into draft decisions? That question is as rhetorical as my asking, “Is Aminu athletic?”

5. Cole Aldrich
Hold on while I try and manufacture season ticket print toilet paper.

Just kidding, but it’s true an Aldrich selection wouldn’t foment excitement. Lump of Cole didn’t markedly improve last year and he has Biedrins’ offensive game–only with less efficiency. If CA can block shots at the NBA level, it’s one of many steps to an almost competent defense. I guess.

One side note: I love how Chad Ford’s description of Cole is “Better athlete than you think.” That’s another way of writing: “You call him unathletic because he’s white…you racist.”

6. Ed Davis
I wish I knew why Hollinger’s draft rater hates Ed Davis so much. He’s tall, shoots a high percentage, gets rebounds, what am I missing? Then again, Aldrich put up better numbers in his Sophmore season. Then again, Holliger’s draft rater hates Aldrich too. Then again, Hollinger’s draft rater did backflips over Michael Beasley. Anywho, here’s the best case against Ed Davis I’ve seen. It doubles as a decent case for Cousins.

Thoughts upon thoughts…

  • Those who favor raising the age limit are speaking out of racially paternalistic and/or greed-fueled attitudes. Stop pretending that robbing these players is somehow good for them. There is no evidence to support that thesis, though I suppose it’s fun to imagine Wade/Roy/Duncan would have suffered worse careers as early entry players. Going with a 20 year threshold wouldn’t even be good for the NBA. Unless David Stern desperately wants to line the pockets of European basketball and the NCAA, this “Daddy knows best” mentality should be abandoned.
  • Dear hipster element of the basketball blogosphere: Please, stop with the mock drafts that mock mock drafts. I get it, and I understand that we’re all trying for an original, convention-shredding approach. But those jokes are lame, old and embarrassing. Sort of like Mikki Moore. And that’s coming from some amateur who felt the need to feebly kid about Brit butler names.
  • What’s wrong with NBA coaches? A zone is just another way of playing defense. It’s not crazy, it’s not emasculating. When NBA coaches think outside the box, they’re pushing outside of earth’s smallest enclosures. I envision the “Jurassic Park” scene where the baby raptor slowly emerges from an egg. Pooosh, Alvin Gentry. Poooooosh.